Unfinished business
Jun. 28th, 2011 02:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
thekeyholder91Author:
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thekeyholder (Brigi)Beta: the wonderful
starlight_myth ! Thank you! <3Pairing: BellDom
Rating: PG
Feedback: is very appreciated, so if you have time, let me know what you think. :)
Summary: AU story. Dom is frustrated and has to put down his feelings: he finally admits that he was in love with Matt.
Warnings: Melancholy, frustration.
Disclaimer: I don't own Muse, only my story. Please, don't steal!
Author's Note:After reading
somatic_mind's first story called Fragile, old feelings stirred in me and I had to write this. Yes, everything is inspired by reality. Title might have been inspired by the White Lies song, but it has nothing to do with the lyrics.
Unfinished Business
Well, I know you’ll never read this, but I can’t keep these feelings in my heart anymore. The secret “case” where I hid them is completely full.
I don’t even know where to start…I think I miss you. Actually, I have a feeling that I only miss some parts of your being. I saw you in the railway station a month ago. I turned away and crossed my arms, hoping that you wouldn’t notice me. I have no idea if I was successful, but you didn’t come to me. Very well, it would have been awkward anyway. I tried to read something, but your rollicking laughter was too loud. Then another traveller, who was sat behind me, said: “It’s Bellamy with his big mouth.”
Unfortunately, I had to agree with the statement. Since our paths separated, you’ve become so strident. You want to be a cool kid to impress your new friends. It’s like when you started smoking in high school. Back then when I asked you why you smoked, you just shrugged, but I knew that you wanted to be part of the ‘awesome gang’.
Well, let me tell you something, Matt: for me, you were always awesome when you were yourself. I tried to convey that message subtly, but my efforts were in vain. It’s not that you didn’t understand it; you just didn’t want to hear my opinion. Yet you always found your way back to me and I, like the biggest loser in the world, would wait in the corner for your return. I see now that those scarce hugs you gave me were far from reciprocating my unrequited love.
Yes, surprise, I was in love with you, Matthew. It just happened and sometimes I had to bear the cruellest tortures of hell when you stared in my eyes for several minutes. It was so difficult not to reveal my feelings! However, I have the impression that you had a vague suspicion about my love when you looked at me with your blue eyes, narrowed to sly slits and sneering evilly. Damn, it was like you could see through me…
There’s one memory which is especially imprinted on my mind. Inspired by your weird ways and music, I wrote a poem. I thought it was pretty good and since we needed original creations for the school’s newspaper, I asked you, my fellow columnist, to evaluate it. I handed you the printed text and said that one of my friends wrote it. I watched hungrily as you read it and my heart skipped a beat every time you exclaimed, admiring the unusual images I had come up with.
Of course, as soon as you finished reading you asked who the author was, but I wasn’t going to reveal my identity. Finally, I could tease you like you teased me, because curiosity was your weak point. You begged for a hint, but I just smiled secretly. However, after a while you got bored and left me alone again with my regrets. If I had told you, what would have happened? Nothing, I believe you would have run away like you always did.
That’s what I didn’t like about you: you were here, but at the same time you were there as well. Always rushed, giving fleeting pieces of love and leaving me wanting more. It was so unfair, Matthew, so unfair!
Despite my frustrations, I took pride in the fact that whenever you finished a poem, I was the first one to read it. ALWAYS, without exception. It didn’t matter whether you wrote it during classes; you’d send your famous notebook to me. Some poems were so beautiful, some so depressing that I wanted to give you a hug…You insisted that I wrote my opinion beside the poem and I was happy to comply.
You even gave me your first notebook, but after a while you asked it back and I haven’t seen it since. You promised me that it would be mine because (I’m quoting you now) “it would be in better hands”. I wonder if you even remember these fine details. I know the answer, but I try not to think about it because I’d sink deeper in the mud of melancholy.
It’s been over a year since we finished school. Do you remember the plans we made for that music festival? After combating countless problems, we finally went there and watched our favourite bands. Do you still listen to them? I do, I love them a million times more since then; their music cures my broken soul.
That night was incredible and even though you acted like a dick almost the whole time, you held my hand at the end of the concert and that’s how you led me out of the suffocating crowd. I imagined that after such an experience we would be friends forever, but obviously, I was wrong. You haven’t called me or sent me a message since then and I don’t think I should waste my time thinking about you.
But in the back of my mind I know that there’ll always be a thorn in my heart, a thorn that you stabbed in my heart deeper and deeper during all these years. For me, you are an unfinished business. However, for you I’m just an old, illegible page in your agenda…
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no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 11:51 am (UTC)Well, let me tell you something, Matt: for me, you were always awesome when you were yourself. D'aw, poor Dom! I think he believes this in twue life too.
you held my hand at the end of the concert That's such a nice image, of them holding hands <3
It was wonderful! Too bad it's a one-off, I would've been really curious to see why is Matt such a dick :))
Can't wait for the clown story! :) *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 11:57 am (UTC)I know, it is one of the saddest stories I wrote. Kind of fits today's weather, it's so gloomy!
Too bad it's a one-off, I would've been really curious to see why is Matt such a dick :))
Oh, my. Actually, ask my former classmate why he acted like a dick with me and then maybe I can write a continuation. xD Everything happened in reality...:S
I have good news about the clown story - I wrote 2 and a half pages yesterday! ;) If I'm in the mood, I'll write more today!
So happy you liked it despite the sadness. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 12:27 pm (UTC)Oh, my. Actually, ask my former classmate why he acted like a dick with me and then maybe I can write a continuation. I'm going to find that guy and kill him!
If I'm in the mood, I'll write more today! Whooo, I can't wait!!!!
And I said it once and I'll say it again. I don't like your stories. I LOVE them! :D
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 12:56 pm (UTC)I'm going to find that guy and kill him!
*lolsyenholmes* Okay, his number is 074... xD Imagine, we went to see Muse together! D:
I don't like your stories. I LOVE them! :D
I'm crying and laughing at the same time. :') You are too good to me!
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 12:13 pm (UTC)But yeah I really liked it. I loved Dom's 'voice'... The way in which he spoke I felt was really believable and you could connect with him, you felt his what he was feeling. And the way it was written like a letter to Matt worked really well. Im kinda torn though, at the same time as wanting Matt to receive the letter and see how Dom feels I know that Matt doesn't really deserve to know after how he's acting... Sadly it seems like Dom is better off without him.
And now for something completely different :P ...What I would give to get my hands on Matt's notebook.... Haha :P
Oh and I finished SIDOY! Celebration time :D
I loved that whole fic. And the ending was just awesome, I was really grateful that their parents compromised in the end, letting them live together and sleep in the same room, even if they had to keep their relationship to themselves. I thought it was a pretty happy ending, and I'm a sucker for a happy ending :) Also I was sad to see the end of those two cute fellas, but if it's making way for even more wonderful new writing like this than I think I can deal with it :)
Keep up the awesome writing Brigi <3
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 12:51 pm (UTC)No worries about the smiley!
I loved Dom's 'voice'... The way in which he spoke I felt was really believable and you could connect with him, you felt his what he was feeling.
Oh, perhaps because I felt in the same way and I just gave expressed through Dom my own frustrations? 'm glad to hear that though!
And the way it was written like a letter to Matt worked really well. Im kinda torn though, at the same time as wanting Matt to receive the letter and see how Dom feels I know that Matt doesn't really deserve to know after how he's acting...
My god, you and Laura kind of convinced me with your comments to write Matt's answer, but without seeing Dom's letter. What do you say? Though I'm a bit nervous about that because I've never been on "that side", you know? I should find my former classmate and ask him why he acted like a dick. xD
Does Matt use a notebook in reality??? I want it too! :>
Aww, thank you so much, Lola! <3 I feel so honoured that you read my first finished series! Haha, I must admit that I'm a sucker for happy endings as well! xD Well, I might come back with a continuation, but don't ask when...I'll try my best, but I have so many ideas in my head!
Thank you so much for your support! *sends many hugs and muffins*
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 07:56 pm (UTC)Damn, he does sound like a dick. I'll come too and give and a slap round the head if ya like? :P
Similar kinda think happened with me... I don't know but I think it's something lots of people can relate to eh.
I have no idea if he does actually have one... hehe I would love to read through it if it does exist though! :)
*hugs back, nom noms on muffins*
<3
no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 09:03 am (UTC)Haha, yes, I think he needs a few slaps. :P I hope your case wasn't too bad! *sends hugs*
Well, I hope he has one! Where else would he write the lyrics? :)
<333
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 05:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 05:42 pm (UTC)Loved it!
<333333333
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 07:18 pm (UTC)There's genuine sadness in how you portray Dom's actions, in both the spoken and the unspoken frustrations - I think the fact that you're writing from experience shines through perfectly!
Yes, I guess that was the key to the story. The concert mentioned is right the Muse gig from last August. *sigh* At least I put down my feelings, I felt much better after it.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 07:51 pm (UTC)You haven’t called me or sent me a message since then and I don’t think I should waste my time thinking about you.
But in the back of my mind I know that there’ll always be a thorn in my heart, a thorn that you stabbed in my heart deeper and deeper during all these years.
I just had to "quote" this. Sad, yet beautiful in its own way. And this piece brings everything together, I think. Dom shouldn't bother himself with thinking about Matt but he can never forget.
Thank you <3
no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 09:00 am (UTC)I'm sorry, I hope this didn't make you sadder! I'm also sorry that you have to go through this at the moment. If you want to talk about it, message me, okay? Or I can give you my email address or something. ;)
Thank YOU again! I'm glad to see that there are people with sensitive hearts out there! :') <3
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 11:34 am (UTC)And hey, you're a good writer and you describe feelings and everything in a way that makes the reader really feel the feelings and stuff (I'm good at explaining, I know...) :) And you put your own feelings into this, too.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 04:07 pm (UTC)Anyway, we don't necessarily have to talk about that, Janna.
Thank you again! <3 I always have my doubts, so encouragement is welcomed! <333
no subject
Date: 2011-06-28 09:19 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 08:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 12:02 am (UTC)*snuggs*
This made me cry. So sad.
no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 08:53 am (UTC)*hugs and kisses*
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Date: 2011-06-29 08:54 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 02:34 am (UTC)Lovely work. <3
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Date: 2011-06-29 08:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-06-29 05:56 pm (UTC)I. LOVE. THIS. But poor Dominic, oh my heart. That’s what I didn’t like about you: you were here, but at the same time you were there as well. Always rushed, giving fleeting pieces of love and leaving me wanting more.
LOVED THIS. fleeting pieces of love and leaving me wanting more askjnsakjas beautiful.
Yet you always found your way back to me and I, like the biggest loser in the world, would wait in the corner for your return.
That poor thing, seriously. ;_; unrequited love's definitely a tough burden to bear.
I try not to think about it because I’d sink deeper in the mud of melancholy.
Very unique metaphor, loved it!
But in the back of my mind I know that there’ll always be a thorn in my heart, a thorn that you stabbed in my heart deeper and deeper during all these years. For me, you are an unfinished business. However, for you I’m just an old, illegible page in your agenda…
Just had to quote that entire last paragraph because I adore it so much. So heartbreakingly lovely, *sigh* <3
Brilliant job, Brigi. I'm honored that my piece inspired such a wonderful one-off. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-06-30 04:24 pm (UTC)Thanks so much for pointing out your favourite parts, it is very helpful! You truly made me blush! Thank you again for posting 'Fragile', it was a very moving one-off!
*many hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-07-01 02:39 am (UTC)No problem, dear, and thank you again for being so kind :')
I forgot to mention in my previous comment that I'm kind of in awe that you drew this from a personal experience; that must've been quite a thing to go through, yeah? *smishes* <3
no subject
Date: 2011-07-01 09:17 am (UTC)Thank you again, you are very kind and so easy to love. ;) <3 *hugs*